A court order can feel like the end of a long and exhausting fight. The frustration that you may be feeling is completely normal, and here at McKenzie Picave, we want you to know that you are not alone.
This is a question we tackled on our podcast, That Family Law Guy: Unfiltered
What Counts as a Breach of a Child Arrangements Order?
When someone doesn’t follow what a child arrangements order says, this is considered a breach. A child arrangements order is a legally binding decision about where a child lives. It also sets out how much time they spend with each parent. Once this is made, both parents are expected to follow it.
Breaches take many forms. Some common examples are:
- Not returning a child on the agreed day
- Starting to change a child’s school without agreement
- Starting to change a child’s doctor without agreement
- Failing to hand a child over when the order says
What Is a Penal Notice?
A penal notice is a form of words that sits on a court order. It warns that if the order is not followed, the person responsible may be recalled to court. The possible consequences are:
- A return to court
- A fine
- Having assets seized
- Ultimately, prison
The court will decide what is appropriate in each case. While a penal notice is a serious warning, it is not a guarantee that an order will be followed. In the case we discussed, one was attached to the first order. The handover still did not go as the order required.
What Happens at a Handover if Your Child Will Not Leave?
Handover days should be simple, yet some parents find that it is anything but simple. In the case that we discussed, a parent arrived to collect their child. A court hearing had taken place the day before, and they had the order in hand. When the door opened, they felt hopeful, but what followed was a two-hour standoff.
This caused the child distress, and they were torn between two parents. This is often called a loyalty conflict. The child was described as confused about what was best to do. The parent then contacted the local authority and the police for help. Neither was able to get involved.
After two hours, the parent made the tough choice to leave for the night. They were left with two choices: to return to court or to go back and forcibly remove the child. Ultimately, they decided to go back to court to avoid further escalation in front of the child.
If reluctance becomes a pattern, our page on parental alienation explains how the court approaches these cases.
Does the Court Act Straight Away?
Not always. Our guest explained that their first application was heard quickly and the court responded firmly. But the second application took much longer. The parent heard nothing from the court for several weeks.
During that time, contact was limited. It consisted of short, occasional messages and a few of video calls. These were arranged so that siblings could speak to each other. Not knowing what is happening is one of the hardest parts of the process. The parent described feeling isolated, frustrated and disillusioned, which is a natural reaction.
Long waits are not unique to one case. Another parent on the episode described cases taking months to reach a hearing, and years in some cases. Our article on UK family court delays explores the wider pressures on the system.
Why Can a Court Order Feel Different Outside the Courtroom?
Inside the courtroom, an order is the most important paper in the room. It carries the judge’s authority. Outside, on the doorstep, it often feels like just a piece of paper. That gap is what our host described as two realities.
Parents on the episode felt strongly that breaches need real consequences. One put it plainly: “You’re a tiger with no teeth otherwise.” Their concern was that unaddressed breaches could encourage others to ignore orders too.
The route forward runs through the court itself. The court can make an enforcement order where someone has failed to follow an existing order. A sensible first step is to return to the court that made the original order.
What Should You Do if Your Ex Ignores the Order?
Focus on what you can control. Four steps can help:
- Stay calm. Leave the handover if it is distressing for your child.
- Never remove your child by force. Returning to court is the safer route.
- Record everything. Note every date, message and missed handover.
- Return to court promptly. Apply to enforce the order with your evidence ready.
Keeping records matters more than many parents realise. One parent on the episode urged others to document everything, record everything and minute it. They said that record would come back to help later. Keep copies of the order and every message that relates to it.
Depending on your situation, other orders may also be relevant. A prohibited steps order prevents someone from taking a specific action, such as moving a child’s school. A specific issue order decides one particular question, such as education or medical treatment. Every case differs, so always check exactly what your own order says.
How Can McKenzie Picave Support You?
Enforcement can feel daunting, particularly if you are representing yourself. At McKenzie Picave, we are here to help you organise your evidence, understand each stage and prepare for your hearing. We sit beside you in court and offer practical and emotional support. As one client put it, anxiety does not keep office hours, and neither do we.
You remain responsible for your own case. We will give you honest guidance and point you towards specialist advice where it is needed. Our fees are agreed upfront, and you can see how this compares to instructing a solicitor. Our FAQs answer common questions about how the process works.
Many parents also wonder how representation affects outcomes. Read our article on whether money decides the outcome in family court.
Looking After Yourself While You Wait
One parent on the episode offered this advice to others. Manage your expectations, because family court can be an emotional roller coaster. You will have moments of frustration and moments of hope. You cannot control events, the other side or the court. You can only control your own conduct, so act with integrity.
Look after your mental and physical health too. You are in no position to support your children if you are struggling yourself. Another parent said they have always believed children need both parents for their development. That is why steady, well-prepared action matters so much.
You do not have to work out your next step alone. Book a free, no-obligation consultation with McKenzie Picave to talk through what is happening.
